COIN WAR DECLARED AT WILLS EYE: LAST-MINUTE NEGOTIATIONS FAIL AS COINWARRIOR DEPLOYMENT BEGINS “OPERATION COUGH IT UP” EMPLOYS “NICKEL AND DIME” STRATEGY IN BATTLE AGAINST HUNGER

                                                                                        WILLS EYE IS AT WAR!
 
"Wishful thinking won't win the battle against hunger," declares General Generous Allen from his 8th-floor command center at Fort Wills. "Neither will waiting for the other guy to take action," Generous Allen reiterated, hours after summoning his closest aids and ambassadors of Good Hope to inform them of his decision to enter the war on hunger earlier this afternoon.

There is no salvation in starvation. "We're entering this battle because we strongly believe we can make a difference," Generous Allen said. "The first coinwarriors have been deployed and several satellite command centers have been established throughout the hospital, identifiable by the blue translucent five-gallon jugs that will serve as temporary repositories for solicted, as well as, unsolicited donations and funding in support of the war.

General Generous Allen, who received the Purple Petunia  Award after being impaled by a thorn during the infamous "War of the Roses," will provide daily dispatches from the frontlines in the war on hunger.

This is a special bulletin from the COINCAST NEWS NETWORK